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Bright & Brief

December 30, 1986

BURLINGTON, Wis. (AP) _ Would you believe a biblical drought? How about noise-proofed goldfish? Well, maybe you’d believe winter weather so cold it froze the watts in a lightbulb.

The Burlington Liars Club on Tuesday named Clarence H. Klott of Herman, Mo., the World’s Champion Liar of 1986.

Klott beat 305 other entrants around the world with a story about a man who bought some land, was alarmed to find it was very dry, and asked an elderly neighbor if it ever rained there.

″The old neighbor replied, ’Well, you read in the Bible about 40 days and 40 nights of rain. Well, that time we got a quarter of an inch.‴

The club picks a first-place winner only. No prizes. Several others are awarded honorable mention.

One of the honorable mentions was this tale from Roy Chappel of Walmer, South Africa:

″My wife can’t sleep if there is any noise. In fact I have to wrap cotton around the fins of our goldfish so they won’t keep her awake as they swim around the bowl.″

Jack D. Sorensen of Kenosha was cited for this weather yarn:

″It was so cold last December that when we heard a loud ‘pop’ outside our front door we went out to see what it was. We found pieces of glass from our porch light and among the pieces were many tiny specks. We counted them and, sure enough, there were 60 of them.

″All 60 watts of that frozen light bulb were frozen alive.″


LEBANON, Ind. (AP) - Outgoing Boone County Sheriff Ern Hudson has been taking some ribbing from friends about the new boss he’ll report to Thursday - his wife.

After serving as the central Indiana community’s chief law enforcment officer for eight years, Hudson was not allowed by state law to seek a third term.

So Judith A. Hudson, who has worked with her husband as jail matron for eight years, decided she’d take a shot at running for the office. She was elected by a wide margin over her opponents, and will be sworn in Wednesday.

Mrs. Hudson said she probably will make her husband of 18 years her chief deputy, although she hadn’t made any firm decision on that yet. She said she doesn’t plan any other major changes for the department’s 17 employees and nearly $500,000 budget.

″I’m planning to run the office the same way he has,″ she said. ″Any decisions that went on in that office, I usually had a say-so in it. I’m sure he’ll advise me like I did him. We’ve had a team effort, so I don’t see any major changes.″

Mrs. Hudson said the role reversal will not extend to their home.

″He never did wash any dishes before and he stays away from cooking,″ she said. ″I take care of the house. You’ve got to be a housewife and sheriff.″

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