Ten typical Henny Youngman jokes:

_ ``Take my wife, please.''

_ ``A guy calls his lawyer. He says, `Can I ask you two questions?' Lawyer says, `What's the second one?'''

_ ``This guy asked his doctor, `Will I be able to play the piano after my operation?' And the doctor says `Sure.' And the guy says, `Funny, I couldn't do it before.'''

_ ``A guy comes up to me and says, `I haven't eaten in two days.' I told him, `Force yourself.'''

_ ``I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother, and I was a bottle baby.''

_ ``Two guys in a gym, one putting on a girdle. One guys says, `Since when have you been wearing a girdle?' Other guy says, `Since my wife found it in the glove compartment of our car.'''

_ ``My doctor told me I was fat. I said I wanted a second opinion. He said, `OK, you're ugly, too.'''

_ ``I live about four muggings from Central Park.''

_ ``I flew on an airplane, the food was fit for a king. Here, King!''

_ ``I just came from a pleasure trip _ took my mother-in-law to the airport.''