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AM-Prep: Kickers

April 2, 2019

JAMES COMEY’S APRIL FOOLS JOKE

WASHINGTON (AP) — At times during his career as FBI director, James Comey managed to irk both Democrats and Republicans. So, how did he do when it comes to getting them to laugh? The former FBI chief was one of the highest-ranking people to play a public April Fool’s joke. He posted on Twitter and Instagram that he was running for president in 2020. The original post showed Comey standing in the middle of a rural two-lane road — with the caption, “I’m in. We need someone in the middle. #2020.” Two hours later Comey fessed that it was a joke — but not before the original posts generated thousands of likes, re-tweets and comments.

LABOR AND DELIVERY NURSES IN PORTLAND EXPECTING

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — There must be something in the water at the Maine Medical Center. Or maybe it’s just that the labor and delivery nurses have been inspired by their patients. The labor unit has nine nurses who are expecting themselves. The nurses — minus one — showed off their baby bumps in a photo that’s made the rounds on social media. The babies are all due between April and July. Not to be outdone, 12 nurses at the hospital’s ER are also pregnant.

VA. EMBEZZLEMENT SUSPECT ACCUSED OF USING MONEY FOR BUTTOCKS LIFT

STAFFORD, Va. (AP) — A woman is accused not only of boosting tens of thousands of dollars from a company — but also of using some of the money to boost her buttocks. News reports quote the sheriff’s office in Stafford County, Virginia as saying 32-year-old Vanessa Cline worked as a bookkeeper for No Limits Construction — and embezzled more than $93,000. Authorities say Cline used some of the money for her wedding and some to pay for a butt lift. Other unauthorized purchases included an all-terrain vehicle, airline tickets, perfume and groceries. Ironically, authorities say Cline was hired as a bookkeeper to replace another worker convicted of swiping more than $150,000 from the same company.

by Oscar Wells Gabriel II