Great Britain welcome to join US -- Steven B. Zwickel

January 26, 2019

On July 4, 1776, the American colonies broke away from Great Britain. (Today that would be called “Yanxit.”) Now Britain is about to break away from the European Union, and we can empathize. More than that, we can offer the Brits a safe place to go by admitting the U.K. to the U.S.A.

It is not unusual for people who go through a divorce to live at their parents’ home after the breakup. In a similar way, Britain could become part of the United States.

This plan does require some adjustments. As far as currency goes, though, once the Brits get used to using dollars, they’ll never go back to pounds. They can keep Queen Elizabeth II as long as they also keep Meghan Markle as a Duchess.

I would insist on three concessions:

First, they have to stop spelling honor and color with a “u.” Second, stop calling soccer “football.” Third, stop driving on the wrong side of the road.

Otherwise, wipe you feet before you come in and welcome to the United States of America and Great Britain.

Steven B. Zwickel, Madison

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