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On The Lite Side

April 5, 1985

MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) _ Since the couple met in the Alabama House, legislators thought it fitting to put aside state business so they could be married in the legislative chamber.

Speaker Tom Drake’s secretary and administrative assistant tied the knot before lawmakers and got a song from one to boot.

″What better place″ to get married, said the groom, Frank Brunner, 33. ″This is where we met.″

The bride, Beverly Fite, 29, of Montgomery, had been House Speaker Pro Tem Roy Johnson’s secretary until she moved to the speaker’s office last month.

Johnson called for the recess on Thursday after the House passed a record $2.1 billion education budget.

The ceremony, in a packed chamber, was conducted by Supreme Court Justice Reneau P. Almon and ended with Rep. Frank White singing ″I Love You Truly.″

The couple retreated to the House Ways and Means Committee room where they received guests and drank champagne.

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ANAHEIM, Calif. (AP) - When a foul smell was reported at a parking lot, the Orange County Hazardous Materials Team rushed to the scene, fearing a toxic spill.

But it turned out that the stench at the Convention Center Inn lot Thursday came from a load of rotten hot tamales.

″We didn’t know what it was. Originally we asked for the health department, but when they couldn’t go we sent the Hazardous Materials Team just to identify what it was,″ Deputy Fire Marshal Gail McCloud said.

″The only hazard there was to the poor guy who had to clean it up,″ fire division chief Darrel Hartshorn said.

Someone had dumped about 10 gallons of tamales during the night, McCloud said, adding that there was no way to trace their origin.

″We all know what the inside of a tamale is made of, and I would imagine if it went bad it would be real bad,″ McCloud said. ″It’s got corn, meat, sauces.″

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BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) - With slogans like ″The Future Lies Ahead″ and a blank piece of paper as its platform there’s little wonder that The Boring Party has never won an election at the University of California-Berke ley.

But they keep trying, although not very hard, and they keep promising, although they’ve yet to deliver.

″In fact, we’re willing to promise anyone anything to get votes,″ said Gregory ″Frog″ Day, running for the Associated Students Senate and campaigning lazily in a pair of shorts from a chaise lounge.

Beside him was A Boring Party sign and in his left hand was the party’s platform - a blank piece of paper.

Nearby, party semi-activist Michael ″Lou″ Liu was trying to buy votes for a penny and promising life after death to all takers.

Day said the party seems to be picking up support, but that he hopes it dies down.

″I think if we actually did get elected, we’d probably be pretty decent senators,″ he said. ″I don’t want to be the one to find out, though.″I don’t want to win.″

X-04-05-85 0236EST

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