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AM-Prep: Kickers

May 6, 2019

HORSE TURDS FOR SALE

GEORGETOWN, Ky. (AP) — You may know that the seed of famous thoroughbred racehorses can sell for lots of money. But what about some of the other stuff horses produce? Like, for instance, their poop? An artist is actually selling jars of turds from famous horses. The Lexington Herald-Leader reports that Coleman Larking is the man who is hawking the expensive crap. A partial load of poop from 1997 Kentucky Derby winner Silver Charm will set you back, well, a load. It goes for $200. If the price turns you off, at least the stench won’t; the turds are coated in resin. Sales from the “Derby Turds” will go toward a thoroughbred retirement farm where Silver Charm lives. Larking is trying to get other horse owners to provide “stock” for additional sales.

SWIPING SOAP

NEW YORK (AP) — Police in New York City are seeking the public’s help to make sure a man who swiped an expensive bar of soap doesn’t make a clean getaway. They have released a video of the man who they say lifted a $5.29 bar of Cetaphil from a pharmacy in the Bronx — and stuffed the soap down his pants. What might have just been a little vile became violent — when the soap-snatcher repeatedly punched a worker who caught him in the act. Police are hoping someone who sees the surveillance video of the incident can identify the culprit — and help them rope in the soap thief.

PENNSYLVANIA TOLL EVADER

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — First he escaped paying tolls. And for a while, he escaped justice. But now, authorities in Pennsylvania say they have put the brakes on the state’s worst tollbooth scofflaw. The Philadelphia Inquirer says the allegedly appropriately named Jarret Stiff — stiffed the Keystone State 2,264 times between 2012 and 2017. In doing so, he racked up nearly $128,000 in unpaid tolls and fines. Under a plea deal with prosecutors, Stiff pleaded guilty last month to theft of services — and was ordered to pay more than $11,500. He also is on five years’ probation. Stiff’s case is among the examples of the Pennsylvania Turnpike Commission’s aggressive new approach to toll evaders. The agency now seeks felony raps on toll evaders who owed $2,000 or more.

by Oscar Wells Gabriel II