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Roseanne Sounds Off in Esquire

February 6, 2001

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NEW YORK (AP) _ Roseanne says she’s learned a lot over her 48 years, three marriages and various careers, which include working as a stand-up comedian, talk-show host, cocktail waitress and housewife.

She spews nuggets of cumulative wisdom _ and appears decked out in full Marie Antoinette garb _ in the March issue of Esquire, on newsstands next week. Among them:

_ ``The hardest thing I ever learned about being a wife is I’m not the husband.″

_ ``Nobody ever gets back to you. Nobody ever completes anything. Everything always costs 10 times more than estimated.″

_ ``You can’t refute comedy. It’s a physical response in the body and in the mind. It comes and it snatches you up and it makes you dance.″

_ ``Everything is a government conspiracy.″

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