Moron of the Morning: Thieves Steal Police Chief

December 19, 2018

Cardboard cutouts of Green Bay police Chief Andrew Smith don’t just walk out the door on their own, you know.

You’ve probably seen them around in area stores: life-sized cutouts of the Green Bay police chief looking very stern as he warns people against the evils — and the risks — of shoplifting. Well, some dastardly thief accepted it as a challenge. He walked off with one of the cardboard cutouts of the chief. It happened Sunday night at the Kwik Trip at 1712 E. Mason St.

As you can imagine, the police are taking it extremely seriously. “No demands have been received from the kidnappers at this point,” reported Lt. Tom Buchmann on the official “attempt to locate” notification he put out to the evening patrol officers. He helpfully included a photo of the chief, in case some of the younger officers weren’t quite sure who or what they were looking for.

No doubt Smith was flattered a thief might want a replica of his handsome face and debonair figure for his very own, but he expressed it humbly: “I figure the cutout is posted at a shooting range somewhere, or perhaps lining a birdcage in someone’s house.”

In any case, “retail theft is down 5 percent this year, so maybe I get the last laugh,” he said. Police are looking for a male suspect driving a silver Chrysler 300. Possibly with Andrew Smith in the passenger seat.

-Green Bay Press Gazette: https://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/story/news/2018/12/17/greenbay-police-shoplifting-andrew-smith-cutout-stolen/2337267002/

Update hourly