Oddchester: Crazy stories from the links

April 9, 2019

Flipped golf carts. Frightened alligators. And, of course, people getting hit by golf balls.

We have, over the years, been collecting crazy golf stories from locals.

Here, just in time for the opening of the area courses, are a few of our favorites.

From Charles B. (last name withheld by request, for obvious reasons):

“I hit a goose. On a date. It was hole #14 at Soldiers Field, and I hit a perfect 3-wood, low and straight, for my second shot. My date was sitting in the cart. This was like date number three. My brother and his girlfriend were standing behind me. The second I hit it, I did that thing where I just knew it was good so I put my head down to fix the divot and then right away my brother yelled ‘No way!’ and his girlfriend kind of screamed. I looked up and there was a goose laying on the fairway and a golf ball next to it. I jumped in the cart and my date is yelling ‘What are you going to do?’ and I’m actually thinking ‘I may have to kill a goose to put it out of its misery. On a date.’ Luckily, the goose got up and ran away as we drove up. We only went out a few more times after that.”

From Joe Schmidt:

“On Nov. 5, 2016, I shot a doe, deer hunting early in the morning. Went for a 90-mile motorcycle ride. Then played 18 holes of golf. All in the same day, In Minnesota. In November. That just doesn’t happen every year.”

From Jon K. (last name also withheld by request, probably because of the “parachute pants” thing):

“I was on the high school golf team. We had practice before school and were hitting wedges. I carefully approached my friend who was hitting because he was NOT a good golfer. I stood directly behind him, but he hit one off the toe of his club. The line drive shot traveled 90 degrees from the intended path, ricocheted off a gang mower, and drilled me in the temple. I was out for about 30 seconds and couldn’t walk for another 15 minutes or so. This next part’s not a story, but I’ll note that I often played our matches wearing parachute pants.”

From Adam Chandler:

“I was working at Somerby on a 4th of July (busiest day of the year) and we had a beverage cart flip over at about 10 a.m. Just when we got everything back on track with it (two hours later) the other beverage cart flipped over! That was, by far, the craziest day I have been a part of.”

From David Richardson:

“Putting on the 18th green at PGA National golf club (in Florida) with money on the line and several smallish alligators on the bank, my friend proceeded to putt, then step back far enough to catch the bank and tumble into the water. We saw a sight seldom seen: alligators so startled by a golfer that they jumped into the water and swam away as fast as they could. Amazingly, his putt went into the hole, something we only noticed later as we were laughing so hard we didn’t notice he had made his putt!”

And, finally, from me:

During a round at a municipal course near Detroit, I got ready for my second shot after worm burning a drive about 200 yards from the tee. Just as I stood over my ball, I heard someone in the group behind us yell “FORE!” Naturally, I turned around to see who was going to get hit.

It turned out to be me.

The drive hit me square in the breastbone — in the exact, heart-sensitive spot where you’re supposed to push down when you’re giving someone CPR — and I instinctively clutched by chest with one hand and stumbled backward, very much like Fred Sanford when he was having a heart attack on “Sanford and Son” (“Elizabeth, here comes the big one!”).

I stumbled backward into the path of the golf cart driven by my friend Chuck.

It was not a direct blow, but the E-Z Go knocked me down. My legs flew straight up in the air. Chuck was yelling “Are you SURE you’re OK?” as he drove off in search of his ball. I don’t think he ever even turned around.