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Moron of the Morning: Man Attempts Theft From Police Department

January 3, 2019

Here’s some free advice for any would-be bicycle thieves. One: Always look around for security cameras before you make your move. And two: Avoid stealing from the local police.

An unidentified man in the Portland suburb of Gladstone, Oregon didn’t follow either of those tips recently when he tried to steal a bike that was chained in front of the Gladstone PD headquarters.

In a truly wonderful video clip posted to the Gladstone PD’s Facebook page, the suspect -- clad in a hoodie, knit cap and with his face covered -- sidles up to the locked bicycle, located right next to a window with the words “Gladstone Police” painted on it in big ’ol letters. He then kneels and pulls a pair of bolt cutters out of a bag and begins to attack the chain with them.

That’s when the security video shows a police officer emerge from a door not six feet away. Moments later, the cop’s pushed the suspect against the wall with one hand and has the other on his taser. In short order, the would-be thief is restrained and led away.

There’s a running time code displayed at the bottom of the video. Total time elapsed from the suspect’s appearance to his apprehension? Twenty-nine seconds. Next time, maybe think about taking the bus.

-ABC News: https://www.facebook.com/GladstonePoliceDepartment/videos/2139232539724771/

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