Leaving a Home is Emotional
Dear Bonnie: I am having a hard time saying goodbye to my family home and moving on. Do you think this is crazy? I have all these emotions. -- Ginger
Dear Ginger: I absolutely know what you are going through. I am so sorry. I know it’s hard as I am going through the same thing, and I am sure others have had these same feelings.
This week was a hard week for me, as I had to say goodbye to the family home in which I was brought up. My mother and father purchased a one-room schoolhouse almost 70 years ago. The home is listed in the history books dating back to 1886. My mom, always being proud of this fact, kept the sign explaining its historic significance by the front door. My mom passed three years ago, and my dad left everything in the house perfectly the same. When he went to heaven a few months ago, my sister and brothers and I needed to go in and clear everything out of the house so we could put it on the market.
So much of me wanted to keep that house for myself, but it just wasn’t in the cards. Walking in, I knew it would be daunting without seeing my mom or dad waiting for me to come in, as there was always a hug and kiss waiting inside for me.
I moved out of the house pretty young, my mom handing me a key and saying, “A woman should always have a place to go, and this will always be your home.”
On the last visit, because the house had sold, I felt the pull to go in say a few words and thank my mom and dad for being such great parents and raising us in an environment where I always felt safe and loved, and in a house that was filled with so many memories.
I was one of five children, and I can still remember us having different bedrooms as the older sibling grew and moved out of the house. I walked through the hall and felt the woodwork for the last time. And not just any woodwork -- these boards were the old-fashioned kind, and I could feel the energy of all the years I had laughed, cried and told stories here. Not to mention all the spirits that had kept me company. I went through each room recalling a particular memory of being in there with each person in my family. I even went into the closet of my first bedroom I could remember sleeping in and looking into the closet. In there, I found the pink-flowered wallpaper I loved so much as I remember laying in my bed as a young girl daydreaming as I looked at the beautiful flowers.
I walked outside and said goodbye to my grandmother’s rose bush that still bloomed each year as well as flower bed my mom loved so much. As I was looking around, my eyes gazed at my dad’s apple tree, and I found myself thinking, Who will take care of his beloved tree and his blueberry bushes?
My dogs and cats were all buried under the trees around the same spot. I know they are no longer there, but who will ever know that they lived and were loved?
Leaving the house for the last time and taking just the memories, I wished and hoped the new owner will feel the love that comes from this house and all the love that went on in the inside.
I read that by walking around the house or home you are leaving and telling the house you are going and that someone new is coming, it releases the energy you have given it and helps the house to welcome the new people that, hopefully, will love it as you have.
Bonnie Page is a psychic medium and reiki master. She is available for private sessions at Messages from Heaven Healing and Learning Center, 646 Central St., Suite 3, Leominster, or by telephone at 978-297-9790. If you would like to ask Bonnie a question for the column, email at bonniepagemedium.com .