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September 21, 2018

NUDE GARDENING

STUART, Fla. (AP) — It’s bad enough to have a neighbor who has an unsightly yard. It’s something else to have a neighbor whose yard produces sights you’d rather not see. That’s what’s happening in Stuart, Florida — where a man has been doing his yard work in the nude. Miffed neighbors have been calling the police to complain that the man is a bit too much in touch with nature. But so far, the man persists. A sheriff’s officer tells WFTV he believes the man’s landscaping in the buff violates some statues — and they will start taking statements to try building a case against the man.

BIG SUB

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — There is the kind of submarine you eat — and the kind of submarine you use at sea. Then — there’s the kind of sub you eat that’s so big, it could be used to explore the ocean. Eleven sandwich shops in Maine have teamed up to make a 160-foot-long Italian sandwich. The huge sandwich was created yesterday — but ended up being sunk soon after it was finished. Sunk, that is, into mouths of people who passed through Portland’s Monumental Square. Organizers say they will submit the big sub to Guinness World Records — which will consider creating a new category for the sandwich.

TODDLER IN GAME MACHINE

SALEM, N.H. (AP) — A Massachusetts teacher has gotten in trouble for trying to game the system — by using his child to win a shopping mall game. Police in Salem, New Hampshire say 34-year-old Anthony Helinski of Lawrence, Massachusetts turned himself in to authorities on Wednesday — five days after witnesses at a mall recorded video of a man encouraging his toddler girl to hand out prizes from inside the KeyMaster game. The video then shows the child climbing out of the machine. The teacher is charged with theft, trespassing and child endangerment. The school system that employs Helinski has put him on leave from his job as a middle school teacher.

by Oscar Wells Gabriel II

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