Finding the resolve in New Year’s resolutions
Your high school student’s New Year’s resolution might be becoming a better soccer player. Your middle-schooler might resolve to make more friends, have better grades or save money. How do you assist your child in finding the resolve in their resolution when things get challenging?
Guide your child to make their resolution measurable and specific. What does being a better soccer player mean to your high school student, and how will he know when he has reached that goal? What does friendship mean to your middle-schooler? What specific grades do they want to make? How much money do they want to save? What time frame would they like to set around these accomplishments?
Teach your child to notice small changes. Each step taken in support of their resolution might not bring a huge change, and yet there are small changes. Teach them to notice those small changes and to relish in them, including the increased smoothness in handling the soccer ball during a practice or the new person she talked to at lunch. Notice the quarter saved or the additional time taken to study. Feel the success of each small change. Enjoy it!
View setbacks from the perspective of being in a big, comfy chair. Rather than viewing the missed soccer practice as a failure, view it from the comfy chair with great self-acceptance. Explore what got in the way. Then ask how they would like to begin again.
This is the heart of resolve and resilience.
Maggie Macaulay is the owner of Whole Hearted Parenting, offering coaching, courses and workshops. Contact her at 954-483-8021 or Maggie@WholeHeartedParenting.com. Visit her website at WholeHeartedParenting.com.