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Rick Horowitz: The year in politics, set to holiday songs

December 23, 2018

Rick Ho-Ho-Horowitz leads carolers through some political cheer this Christmas, proclaiming Trump’s legal troubles, Russian trolling and a very white White House.

Sing along to Horowitz’s silly sounds of the season, and listen to this week’s “Center Stage, with Milfred and Hands” political podcast to hear a visit from Santa Claus and the State Journal editorial board choir.

“Down You Go!”

(Sung to the tune of “Let It Snow!”)

The weather outside is frightening,

And the walls are slowly tightening,

While the evidence seems to grow.

Down you go! Down you go! Down you go!

The witnesses keep on flipping,

As the scales continue tipping,

Now they’re tying it in a bow:

Down you go! Down you go! Down you go!!

“Hacking Through

a Clinton Blunderland!” (Sung to “Walking in a Winter

Wonderland!”)

Russian trolls,

If you’re listenin’

Hill’ry’s emails are “missnin’,”

You’ll get a reward

If you climb aboard,

Hacking though a Clinton Blunderland!

“Rudy the Giuliani”

(Sung to “Rudolph

the Red-Nosed Reindeer”)

Rudy the Giuliani …

Says whatever comes to mind,

Trying to cause confusion,

Facts are left a mile behind,

Most of the network anchors,

Wouldn’t touch him with a pole,

George is the big exception,

Helps him dig a deeper hole!

“Blue Landslide”

(Sung to “Blue Christmas”)

It was a blue … landslide November,

And made the white … White House remember,

Dems in partial control,

Will be taking its toll,

Investigations twice a day,

Your best hope is parole …

And when those new … chairmen start chairing,

They’ll find some new … info worth sharing,

Then the stories they tell,

Mean a gray, dingy cell,

Give thanks for that blue … blue, blue landslide.

“Happy Mueller Day!”

(Sung to “Happy Holidays!”)

Happy Mueller Day!

Robert Mueller Day!

May the ne’er-do-wells keep singing,

And may ev’ry word be true,

Happy Mueller Day!

Robert Mueller Day!

May the prison gates keep swinging –

Home to mobsters old and new!

“I Saw Don Evade

Emoluments Clause”

(Sung to “I Saw Mommy

Kissing Santa Claus”)

I saw Don evade Emoluments Clause,

In the hotel lobby late last night,

The Saudis came to play,

And pay, and pay, and pay,

They knew they might just need

To call a favor in someday…

“White Christmas”

(Sung to “White Christmas”)

Trump’s dreaming of a White Christmas,

White Easter, White Thanksgiving, too.

Where you’re only seein’…

Some European…

And clerks…look the same as you.

(You might just call that racist…)

Trump’s dreaming of a White Christmas,

He longs for 1955,

Lock the gates once his kind arrive –

Folks like Trump, they help the hate survive.

“Zinke Bails”

(Sung to “Jingle Bells”)

Zinke bails,

Zinke bails,

Heads back to the hills,

O what fun!

Let ’em hit and run

With their shovels, saws, and drills O, Zinke bolts,

Zinke bolts,

Races out of town,

Might “distract”?

Time to end this act –

Time to chop his flagpole down!

“We Two Flynns”

(Sung to “We Three Kings”)

We two Flynns

A puzzlement are,

Once a force,

Now fallen so far,

Saint – then later,

Maybe a traitor,

All in a tale bizarre!

“Might Indict”

(Sung to “Silent Night”)

Mi-ight indict …

Mu-ust indict!

Wrong is wrong,

Right is right!

Com…rades turn

On their partners in crime,

Trump can flail,

But he’s run out of time.

Squeeze those fel…ony ple-eas!

Sque-eze those fel…ony pleas!!!

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