Abby: Best friend doesn’t share her desire for intimacy
Dear Abby: I’ve been best friends with “Mickey” for about five years. We spend every day together and go out to dinner/movies/events, etc. He sleeps at my house, and I cook for him almost every night.
When our friendship started we were intimate a couple of times, but have been strictly platonic ever since. The problem is, I’m in love with him. He knows how I feel, and although he claims he doesn’t love me, he continues to spend every waking moment with me and we do pretty much everything a couple would do, minus the physical contact. Everybody assumes that we are a couple.
I think I should also mention that Mickey is somewhat of a sex addict. It makes me self-conscious that he’s constantly thinking about sex, but isn’t turned on by me.
I don’t want to lose him. I value the bond we share and what we have together, but I’m constantly thinking about how much I love him and want to be with him.
I know he “loves” me, but he isn’t attracted to me. I’m afraid if one of us starts dating someone else, our friendship will take a hit. Please give me some advice.
Girl In Love in Connecticut
Dear Girl In Love: As long as you have Mickey as your major preoccupation, you will not start dating anyone else. You need to stop thinking that his lack of desire for you is your fault, because it isn’t. Although it will be painful to call a halt to what’s going on so you can meet someone who CAN give you what you need, that’s what you should do. The relationship you’re in is masochistic. You are being used, and it’s not fair to you.
Dear Abby: I have asked my husband to please not spit in the kitchen sink or to floss his teeth at the kitchen table. He responds by getting mad and huffing off like I am being a nag. Am I wrong?
Disgusted in Minnesota
Dear Disgusted: Considerate spouses don’t do things they know will annoy their partner..
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.