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NEW YORK (AP) _ What was the big deal? That's what Mariah Carey wondered after her spontaneous striptease on MTV's ``Total Request Live'' caused such a stir last year.

The singer talks about the July 2001 incident, and the subsequent emotional breakdown that landed her in a hospital, in ``Mariah Carey: Shining Through the Rain,'' which airs at 9 p.m. EST Tuesday on MTV.

``The drama, the saga of the 'TRL,''' Carey recalls. ``Like we were doing 'Dateline' and suddenly I went into like a striptease burlesque show. I'm like, it's 'TRL,' I thought you were supposed to feel at home and do stupid stuff.''

She adds, ``I'm not going to stop being me because people don't get me. The only thing I wish I had done is had a better camera angle.''

The one-hour special features an interview with the 32-year-old Grammy winner, a performance of songs from her new album ``Charmbracelet,'' which also comes out Tuesday, and a question-and-answer session with fans.