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Orchids and Onions: Friday, January 4, 2019

January 5, 2019

Another beautiful day in Havasu...

Onions to the obnoxious fellow tooting his horn at me. Pardon me? I’m not some geriatric you can magically honk out of your way. You wished you could! Your wimpy car horn was unmanly to begin with. I suppose it matched your demeanor!

Orchids to whole team at Discount Tire. You guys rock.

Onions to the Onion about the pyre funeral not being allowed by the funeral home. Even per Grandfather’s wishes, it is illegal in all of the U.S. except for Crestone, Colorado. Do your research before your onion. Sorry to hear about your loss.

Orchids are red and violets are blue, here’s to 50 years to Jim and Billie Lou.

Onions to indecisive customers wasting my valuable time, not knowing what they want on the menu. Happens time after time after time. I stand there patiently waiting while these morons try to make a pick. What’s wrong with you? Have a husband or wife choose if you’re that dimwitted!

Orchids to Barnet Dulaney Perkins Eye Center. They really care for your eyes. Their employees like Andi that have been a technician for good patient care. Their employees give 100 percent to all of their clients. A company with great leadership.

Onions to two valley gals in the watering hole making fun of me and my pals. You ain’t been to Texas or Oklahoma, have ya? If ya had, you’d treat the former #1 bull rider in the country with respect. We was warned about S.C. girls. All silicone and plastic. “Phony ponies” is what ole Buck calls ya!

Orchids to Bradley Ford for excellent, professional service in determining the problem with the transmission in my car and repairing it. Special thanks to Trent Hankins for his patience in dealing with my calls and inquiries. I am a happy, satisfied customer. Mary S.

Onion to my confusion; do we have a $1.1 budget surplus so now we can increase law enforcement pay, but we need to increase the vehicle registration fee/tax why? Hmm, is that stealing, lying, misrepresenting or...?

Orchids and thank you to the surprise mystery gifter who put the lovely big red heart lawn ornament at the bottom of my driveway. Whoever you are I’d love to say thanks in person, although keeping it a mystery is just as sweet. Happy New Year and Blessings. J.

Submit entries of 40 words or less in person or e-mail to planner@havasunews.com.

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