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January 26, 2018

URBAN HERD

WEST COVINA, Calif. (AP) - It was less an arrest than a roundup. Police say a donkey led more than a dozen sheep and goats on a stroll through a suburban West Covina neighborhood east of Los Angeles. Police were called early yesterday morning with reports of a herd of animals walking the streets. The animals were finally corralled with the help of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department. The critters had escaped their owners’ property through an unsecured gate. No injuries were reported but police say it raised a few eyebrows among officers who thought they’d seen it all.

COUPLE WED IN COURTHOUSE BATHROOM

FREEHOLD, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey couple recently changed their wedding venue from a judge’s chambers to a courthouse bathroom after a relative had an asthma attack. Brian and Maria Schulz were set to tie the knot when the groom’s mother had difficulty breathing. She was taken to a women’s room at the Monmouth County Courthouse, where sheriff’s officers administered oxygen and called EMT’s. If they had postponed the wedding, they would have had to wait 45 days for a new marriage license. So one of the officers suggested holding the ceremony in the bathroom. In a video posted on the sheriff’s office Facebook page, Judge Katie Gummer performed the ceremony. The groom’s mother is doing fine.

FRESHMAN EMAILS EVERY CLAUDIA ON CAMPUS AFTER TINDER MISHAP

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (AP) — A Missouri State University student who feared he swiped a potential sweetheart out of his life with a dating app mishap has emailed every Claudia on campus to find her. The freshman meant to swipe right on the woman’s Tinder profile — a sign that he wanted to meet her. Instead he swiped left, rejecting her. All he knew was her first name and that she also was a Missouri State student. Over the weekend, he began emailing the 22 Claudias on campus, offering to take the one that got away out for doughnuts. When freshman Claudia Alley got the email, she knew it was about her because it referenced a joke in her bio on the app. She told the Springfield News-Leader she’s agreed to the doughnut date.

SHORTEST ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE TO HAVE 1ST MARCHING BAND

HOT SPRINGS, Ark. (AP) — For the first time since it started 15 years ago, the World’s Shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade will include a marching band. The parade covers 98 feet along Bridge Street in downtown Hot Springs. The Mountain Pine High School band director, Chris Johns, says it is an honor to have the first band in the parade. The March 17 parade takes 40 entries each year. So far, it has 27 for this year’s festivities. The Sentinel-Record reported Joey Fatone of (asterisk)NSYNC will be this year’s celebrity grand marshal and Jon Heder of “Napoleon Dynamite” is the official starter.

GRUMPY CAT SNATCHES CASH IN CALIFORNIA COURT

SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) — It still won’t make her smile, but Grumpy Cat has won some scratch. A California jury gave the furry frown queen more than $700,000 this week in a federal lawsuit over the use of her identity. According to documents obtained by The Washington Post, the cat’s owner won a lawsuit that first had been filed three years ago against the Grenade beverage company. She signed on for the cat to endorse a “Grumpy Cat Grumpuccino,” but the company used the cat’s image to help sell other products, which a jury has now found to be unauthorized. Grumpy Cat, whose dwarfism and underbite give her the permanent frown she’s famous for, became an online phenomenon when her owner first ppostedher pictures in 2012.

COFFIN UNDER HAMMER

MIAMI (AP) —Looking for stripper poles, a coffin with cherry red lining and a velociraptor? All are for sale at the upcoming auction of gaudy items that decorated two mansions once owned by a former developer in South Florida. The Miami Herald reports the former estate of Thomas Kramer will be sold in one package to the highest bidder on February 14. This comes after his mansions were seized in a judgement his former in-laws obtained against him. Kramer’s extravagant South Beach lifestyle was fueled by the millions given him by father-in-law Siegfried Otto, a now-deceased German businessman.