Dave’s Dummy: Jail Breaker

August 27, 2018

Call me old-fashioned, but I miss the days when women used to try to break their boyfriends out of jail by baking them a cake and hiding a file inside.

There’s a 23-year-old dummy named Nicholas Lowe, and he was arrested last month in Fayetteville, Arkansas for a criminal impersonation warrant he was facing in Ventura, California. But he came up with one hell of a scheme to get out.

Two days after he was arrested, he talked his 30-year-old dummy girlfriend Maxine Feldstein into calling the jail pretending to be a deputy from California . . . and she even sent them forged paperwork saying to release Nicholas.

The reason she gave is their jails were overcrowded, so they were dropping, quote, “low-priority extraditions.”

And somehow the scheme WORKED, and Nicholas was released. But a few days later, the ACTUAL deputies from Ventura County called to arrange a pickup for Nicholas . . . and they figured out what happened.

The cops tracked down dummies Nicholas and Maxine last week. They were still in Arkansas, and were both arrested on several charges.

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