UR-WHAT?

URANUS, Mo. (AP) — It's called — The Uranus Examiner. And no, it isn't a journal for proctologists — or a naughty joke. It's the somewhat naughty name of a newspaper in Uranus, Missouri. KYTV reports the paper's launch came Wednesday, days after GateHouse Media said it was shuttering Pulaski County's local paper, the Daily Guide. The new publication's editor, Natalie Sanders, says she wants to start a "fun" paper that will include local news and promote the tourist town. And in case you are wondering, yes — the town's name is pronounced just as any class clown would say it. Uranus, the town that is — sits along Route 66 and is known for quirky attractions, including a fudge shop and the world's largest belt buckle.

BEAR FREED BY JAWS OF LIFE

ROSEAU, Minn. (AP) — If a black bear decides to make a meal of you — you'd consider his mouth to be the jaws of death. But when a bear tried to get a meal out of a milk can, it needed the Jaws of Life to get free. Authorities in Minnesota say a conservation officer was called last week to check out a young male bear with its head wedged inside a 10-gallon milk can near the town of Roseau (ROH'-zoh). At first rescuers tried to slip the bear's head out with cooking oil — but failed. They then drilled holes in the can so the panicked bear could breathe. After a couple of hours of struggling, the fire department was called and firefighters used the Jaws of Life and a spreader to pry the can off. Once freed, the bear ran off into the woods.

SPEEDING LAWMAKER HAS WARRANT ISSUED FOR HIS ARREST

LAKE HAVASU CITY, Ariz. (AP) — The long arm of the law has caught up with an Arizona lawmaker. And it had to step on it — because the lawmaker in question has been bragging about driving over 120 mph. State Rep. Paul Mosley had been summoned to court to face a charge of excessive speeding. But he didn't show up — and that led to a warrant being issued for his arrest. That got his attention — and he sped into court yesterday to enter a not guilty plea to a misdemeanor speeding charge. Mosley told a sheriff's deputy who pulled him over in March he had driven at speeds of 120 mph or higher — and said he shouldn't be cited because of legislative immunity.

by Oscar Wells Gabriel II