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Moron of the Morning: Couple Arrested For “Sexy Time” In Walmart Parking Lot

August 8, 2018

Minnesota police responding Saturday to a 911 call about a van parked in front of a Walmart entrance discovered a man “performing an oral sex act” upon his wife, who was reclining in the driver’s seat.

When a patrolman approached the running vehicle around 9:15 PM, he spotted Shantell Nei, 32, “laid back in her seat with her pants down and expose from the waist down.” The van, police noted, was situated in front of the main entrance of the Walmart Supercenter in Mankato, which is open 24 hours a day. The van’s other occupant, Frank Nei, 32, “was also exposed with his shorts down to his knees.” Nei, Officer Steve Hoppe reported, had “leaned over across the center of the vehicle” and was “performing an oral sex act upon Shantell Nei.”

Hoppe knocked on the van’s window and “yelled for them to stop,” according to a probable cause statement. Hoppe reported that “both parties really seemed out of it,” though the patrolman “could not smell any odor of alcohol.” Shantell Nei, who was groggy and lethargic, was cited for driving while impaired. Frank Nei was charged for indecent exposure and violating a November 2017 court order barring him from having any contact with Shantell.

Frank Nei told police that his wife, who does not have a valid license, drove to Walmart because he had been drinking. And also, Frank added, she wanted to give him “head” while he was in the passenger seat.

-The Smoking Gun

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